Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
