take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
