Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
