I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
