Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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