Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
