I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
