problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
