Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
