Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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