I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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