rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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