I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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