Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
