Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
