If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
