She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
