my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
did i just pee glitter
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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