jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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