There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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