At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
