I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
