Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
