margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
