I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
