Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
