Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
