I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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