question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
