Umm I'm too high to move.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
