I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
