I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
