i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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