We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
