His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
