I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
