that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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