sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
