Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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