did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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