remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
