I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
