O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
