Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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