Jerry, you need to find god
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
