I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
