I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im holly from the hills drunk
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
