Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
