Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
