so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
