The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
