You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
