Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
