batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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