Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
