thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was like eating out sand paper
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
