is wine microwaveable?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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