I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
